


Anathema

by lady_summoner



Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: FFXIV Patch 3.4 spoilers, Gen, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-29
Updated: 2017-07-23
Packaged: 2018-08-18 13:42:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,308
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8163943
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lady_summoner/pseuds/lady_summoner
Summary: (WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN'T DONE MSQ FOR PATCH 3.4, DO NOT READ) [What-if drabblefic]  The Warrior of Light's life is now put in grave danger...by one she considered an ally.  Three points of view on what might be an unforgivable sin against Eorzea and the Mothercrystal.





	1. Betrayal

**Author's Note:**

> (Patch 3.4 has hit me hard in the feels...and I felt very, very, very inspired to write this out. And yes I pulled directly from the quest text.)

The idea itself is a sin of the highest order, a blasphemy that should never be uttered.  Yet Urianger finds that he has no choice.  Events have started to spiral out of control, and this is the last chance he has to force the matter to the conclusion that he desires. 

“Pray do not mistake mine intent.  I but look upon the path that lieth before us with due trepidation.”  The Warrior of Darkness says nothing, but continues glaring at the elezen.  For his part, Urianger forces his voice to remain steady, his body’s attitude to be calm.  Clever Alisaie already found him out-and the plan would not survive if his cover was blown to the enemy.

“Shouldt thou be of like mind, pray consider then, another course, for the power to invoke the Ardor belongeth not unto the Asicans alone.  With thine own hand, strike down thine enemy—the so-called hero who would see thy home lost to Light.  Do but this and thou wouldst, at a single stroke, disrupt the all too delicate balance of the realm, plunging her straightways into chaos.”  Chaos at best, was putting it lightly.  Urianger had no doubt that the Scions would continue on, but it would be with the loss of the organization’s very soul.  The city-states would have lost a powerful ally-and would more than likely begin to descend into bickering and quarreling.  The Empire would take advantage of that situation, the Ascians would seize the chance to sow as much discord as they could, and Hydaelyn…  Hydaelyn would have lost her greatest champion.  The Warrior of Light was not alone-there were others, each with their own Crystals of Light, but the ones that were needed for the Blessing-they would be gone.  Scattered to the winds.  And while they could be recovered-it would not be the best of times, and even if such a journey were to be undertaken, it could also be too late...  Urianger watched as the Warrior of Darkness pulled away from the building’s railing.

“You do realize what you’re suggesting, yes?”  The hyur’s voice was calm, but his eyes…  A spark of hope flared to life within Urianger.  Those blue orbs-a lighter shade than the Warrior of Light’s own held an apprehensive light, and ever so briefly-horror.  For all he and his fellows had done, had become, what Urianger was seeing right now proved that the group themselves were still of the Light.  They had no true quarrel with this world’s Warrior of Light, in all honesty, they could relate to her.  They knew all too well what she had and still was going through, the burdens that she alone could bear.  Such an action was unthinkable, undoable…

“To ignore the plight of those one might conceivably save is not wisdom—it is indolence.’  The words of my teacher, and a creed I hold close to my heart.”  Urianger answered.  His calm answer was the opposite of the emotions roiling within him.

 _Sayeth nay!  Prithee…doth not consid’r it_!  The Warrior of Darkness closed his eyes, his face now expressionless.  He stood by the railing for several moments, and then opened his eyes.  A hard light had come into his eyes, and his jaw was set as he started to walk past Urianger…and then stopped.

“Very well.”  His voice was curt, and Urianger felt his heart fall.  “Draw her out.  We’ll make it quick.” 

“It shall be done.” Urianger answered.  How he was able to get the words out-without crying out in horror, he was not certain.  As the Warrior of Darkness’s footfalls faded away behind him, Urianger lifted one of his hands to look at it.

“What good a creed one cannot uphold?  What hurts soothed, what lives saved… O hapless fool, what has thou wrought by thine own hands?”  He groaned.  He had just possibly damned their world’s once chance for survival-with how badly things had gone wrong, there was a real chance that the Warrior of Light could die.  And all he could do was arrange the affair like a twisted spider’s web…

 _Nay.  I hath no choice._   He had to believe in the power of the Warrior of Light, and of the Scions…  Urianger glanced to the side.

“Minfilia, my friends—I shall not now beg your forgiveness.”  He said.  His eyes drifted up towards the starry sky.  “Full deeply it paineth me to walk it, I shall not stray from my chosen path.  As Moenbryda remained steadfast, so to shall I…”


	2. Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Warrior of Darkness struggles with guilt for what he plans to do...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Warning still goes. SPOILERS FOR 3.4!! READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!)

It’s been quiet ever since he announced what they were going to do.  Or rather…what he was going to do.  Of everything they’ve done so far, of all the sins they’ve committed against the Mother—it’s best that his is the hand that commits this one, that spills blood far more innocent than theirs.

_It’s fair.  It’s a fair exchange._   The Warrior of Darkness closes his eyes and bows his head, not looking up at the starry sky of Thanalan.  _It’s a fair exchange._   _The Light’s swallowing our world-and if she dies here, it’ll be more than enough Dark to tip the balance back._   Never mind that this argument-or different variants of it have been running on an endless loop in his mind.  Never mind that his guts are twisting and churning at the wrongness of this plan, that a small part of him that he thought had died is screaming _no no, don’t do this don’t do this_ -

_It’s fair. It’s fair, it’s fair, it’s swiving-_

“Oi.”  The Warrior of Darkness starts, looking upward.  Blanhaerz is standing before him.  The hyur shakes his head, attempting to clear it.

“Is it that time?”  The Roegadyn scowls, he’s never been fond of the elezen man that has been aiding them.

“Not yet.”  He says.  The Warrior of Darkness frowns. 

“Something amiss, then?”  The dark paladin doesn’t reply, a somber look crossing his face.  With a sigh he sits next to the hyur, armor plates clinking together.

“Wanted to ask if you were alright with this.”  He said.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”  The Warrior of Darkness replies.  Blanhaerz frowns at the answer, eyes narrowing.  “There’s no choice in the matter.  And this way doesn’t behold us to the Ascians—in fact, it puts them in _our_ debt.”

“So you have no qualms about this?”  Blanhaerz asked again.  The Warrior of Darkness looked at him, blue eyes narrowing.  “None whatsoever?”

“I don’t!  But it sounds as if you do! Or have you forgotten-”

“Then let one of us do it.”  The Roegadyn’s statement stops the Warrior of Darkness in his tracks, and he stares at the dark paladin for several moments.  “If you don’t have an issue, let one of us kill her.  J'rhoomale can make it quick, or even Naillebert-”

“No. I said I’d be the one to kill her.”  The Warrior of Darkness shakes his head.  “This is something-this is something-”

“You don’t agree with it.”  The tone of Blanhaerz’s voice was blunt.  “Or rather—you don’t want us to be damned for it.”  The Warrior of Darkness shot him a sideways glance.

“We’re already damned, have you forgotten?”  He quipped bitterly.

“This is an entirely different matter and you know it.”  Blanhaerz continued.  With a growl, the Warrior of Darkness looks away.  “You were the one who ordered that she was not to come to harm.  We all agreed on that point-fighting her yes, but her life…” 

“You don’t think I remember giving that order?!’  The Warrior of Darkness exploded in fury.  Rising to his feet, he glared at his friend and ally. “You don’t think I understand-that I know what she’s going through? What we all went through?  You don’t think I know what this plan means?  I know full well what the plan means, and I meant what I said! I will be the one to kill her! Not you, not J’rhoomale, not Naillebert-” As fast as he had ignited, the Warrior of Darkness stops, bowing his head. A heavy silence fills the air between the two for several moments before the hyur speaks again.

“We are already damned, Blanhaerz.  And it is my fault.”

“Hold on!”  Now the Roegadyn barrels to his feet. “None of this is your fault! We all agreed to do this!”  The Warrior of Darkness lifts his head to look at the paladin.

“I was the one who brought the idea forward.”  He said, his voice quiet.  “I was the one who spoke to the Ascians.  I was the one who brought us here.”

“We came willingly, Arbert!”  Blanhaerz exclaimed.  “We all did this of our own free will! You didn’t force this on us!”  The hyur doesn’t respond, looking away. “You don’t have to always try and protect us!  One time, just this one time in this entire cocked up mess, let us help you!”  The Warrior of Darkness was silent, the fingers of his right hand curling into a fist.  Closing his eyes, he shook his head.

“…I’m sorry, Blanhaerz.”  He said, his voice soft.  “I’m doing it.  Out of the five of us…it’s better than I have that sin on my soul.”  Before the paladin could respond, the hyur quickly turned and walked away-if he stayed, if he listened any more, he’d cave, he’d give into that part of him that was still screaming _‘no!_ ’…

_It’s a fair exchange.  It’s a fair exchange…_


	3. Realization

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the aftermath of the battle with the Warriors of Darkness, the Warrior of Light faces the bitter truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Overdue update, but here's the final chapter!

She wanted…no, she needed to be alone.  Had to be alone.  The revelations of the past several hours have shaken her right down to her core.  And once she and the other Scions had returned to the Rising Stones, she’d been unable to excuse herself with her normal grace.  Alisaie had called out to her, but the Warrior of Light had quickened her steps, hurrying out of the Rising Stones and into the Toll proper.  The settlement’s full of hiding places, and she goes to her favorite one—a nook just above the restaurant of the House of Splendors.  Here she can try to decompress, to process everything in her thoughts…  The sound of footsteps catches the Warrior’s attention.  Quickly she calls up an old Allagan spell, a weaving to keep one invisible on both the aetherical and physical planes.   It wraps around her like a blanket, and the Warrior of Light burrows even more into the cushions that are in her hidey hole.  Eyes narrowed, she watches as a shadow crosses the space in front of her.  A black cloak and sandals-it seems Urianger’s changed back into his old clothing.

“Have you found her?”  Thancred’s voice breaks the silence.  The Warrior of Light stifles the anger that had risen up inside her at seeing Urianger, forcing herself to be calm.  The last thing she wants is to upset her spell, even though there’s a chance that the elezen possibly can sense it. 

“Nay, I have not.”  Silence for several moments.  “My lady was concerned, as was I…”

“I would give her some time to cool down.”  Fabric rustles, and the Warrior of Light can easily imagine Thancred crossing his arms and giving Urianger one of his piercing looks.  “After all, you almost did lead her to her death.”

“An outcome I did refuse to accept and did plan to avoid.”  Urianger counters.  His voice is still calm and steady.  “Though, I shall admit the way of it twas not what I did desire.  I can only prayeth for her forgiveness in time.”  There is silence for several moments, and then Thancred speaks again.

“I should honestly not speak.  I tried to kill her myself.  And…as of late, I have been less than kind.”  He says, his voice so soft that the Warrior had to strain herself to hear.  “I blamed her for what happened at the Antitower.  And she knew it.  But she kept on being her gentle self.”  Another silence, and then Urianger speaks.

“Full well I know that she needs time.  Yet…”  He pauses.  “I wouldst seeth for myself that she is whole…and to allow her to vent her wrath.  For the revelations of the Warriors of Darkness were not…kind.”  Fighting back a bitter laugh, the Warrior of Light closes her eyes.

 _Understatement of the cycle._   It’s not also anger that has made her seek solace, it’s having to deal with the realization that literally everything in Eorzea-the peoples’ freedom, their lives, everything rests on her shoulders.  It had been a slow-burning fuse in her thoughts, the flame lit during her time in the aetherical sea.  The battle with Nidhogg had taken her mind off it, but Arbert’s words had made it return with a vengeance. 

 _If I fail…that is it.  The Dark will rise, and nobody will be able to stop it._ She knows there’s other Warriors of Light out there, her fellow kin-she’s met some of them before.  But she is the one with all the Crystals, the one blessed with what remains of Hydaylen’s power.  If she dies, they will scatter to only gods know where…and while the Warrior of Light doesn’t doubt that someone could track them all down, by that time it will be too late.

 _I had a feeling it was bad, but…I didn’t know..._   If she is truly honest with herself, it was when she was dealing with the loss of her Blessing that the first stirrings of fear had started to creep into the Warrior of Light’s heart.  That was when the cold, hard reality of her situation had first started to sink in. 

 _Seven times…_   Seven other Warriors of Light before her, seven failures.  She is Hydaylen’s last champion, and if she falls in any way…  The Warrior of Light trembles, curling up more into herself.  Tears burn at the corner of her eyes, and she covers them with her hand and quietly weeps.


End file.
